Trust

I couldn’t believe the note I was reading. Highly confidential, I learned the child I was about to see had experienced unimaginable trauma… Inflicted by a family member so close it made my blood run cold. She had barely escaped with her life.

I sent the note through our paper shredder and whispered a prayer as I headed outside.

Jesus, help me. You know what this little girl needs today.

Huddled by her mom and sister, her bright blue eyes met my gaze. We exchanged introductions and I learned she wanted to ride. I knew we had to get Hero.

Hero is a vibrantly alive, full of personality, and desperately rescued member of our horse herd. He was found stumbling through BLM land with a gunshot wound to his face and a badly injured leg. Coming to the ranch, X-rays revealed 2 bullets lodged in his brain, he lost one eye, and his leg took longer to heal than his face.  Hero was alive against all odds.

And so was this precious child.

Throughout grooming and saddling, I shared Hero’s story and she soaked it in.  As I warmed him up, Hero began crowding me a bit. I explained his need to respect my personal space before she rode and showed her how to be effective as I was protecting my “space bubble.”

Then WHACK. The rope swung and hit Hero over his only good eye. He jerked backwards and flung his head from the sting.

Mortified, I apologized to both her and the horse. “I’m so sorry. That was a mistake and I should NOT have hit him in the face like that.”

Meekly, I tried to move on with the session. Hero forgave immediately.  The little girl mounted up and I was pleased to see a giant smile spread across her face.

Our conversation continued and a question flew out of my mouth that I immediately regretted.

“How do you know if someone is truly trustworthy?”

I kicked myself – she SHOULD have been able to trust the one that had abused her. Her own family! Man, was I messing this up.

Unphased, she smiled and responded, “Well, I guess if they’re kind and nice and stuff you can trust them.”

Then words rolled off my tongue that I knew could not have come from me:

“Isn’t it true though that we all make mistakes? So we could probably agree that no one is truly trustworthy.”

She thought and nodded.

I continued, “Except for one Person, and that is Jesus.”

She beamed and nodded vigorously. (Miss blue eyes already shared she had asked Jesus in her heart and we had high-fived at being forever sisters in Him.)

“So, we can place our FULL trust in Jesus, and practice trusting others and giving them grace when they fail. Just like Hero…”

My mind spun as I realized and watched God weave a beautiful picture out of my mistake…

“I failed and slapped Hero over his one good eye. And yet he’s still choosing to walk forward in trust. He knows God’s got him and that he can allow for grace for us when we mess up. He’s able to forgive and keep moving forward with us in friendship. Pretty neat, huh?”

I could see all sorts of connections taking place across her face.  She rode like a champ and I sensed that she and Hero could understand each other in a way I never would. God had done so much healing in both of them… And they both were learning to walk forward in trust. I whispered another prayer of thanks that Jesus had indeed come and helped meet this child right here in a humble round pen.

Please take a moment and pray for continued healing this little girl and her family.

Marching Toward Freedom

Almost exactly a year ago, I had a session with a little girl that I will never forget.  Today, we will call her “Emily.”

“Sarah! Do you mind coming over to help us?” I turned to see my friend trying to dismount a girl so petrified she clung to her horse like a spider monkey.  I climbed through the fence and Molly introduced me to Emily, who refused to even acknowledge I was there.  She only offered the faintest hint of a head nod when I asked if I could help her get down.

The next day I had Emily in another session.  This girl was so timid and shy that I decided my goal for the entire session would be to get her to smile.  ONCE.

While grooming and tacking Robby, one of our “old faithfuls,” Emily seemed to relax the tiniest bit.  As soon as we got to the mounting block to ride, however, she tensed up again.  She was trying so hard to be brave!  After a couple attempts, and good Ol’ Robby halfway dozing off during the wait, she finally plopped down on top of him and resumed her spider monkey position from the day before.

“Do you know you’re supposed to ride horses like a princess?” I asked.  Emily looked at me confused.  “Yes, you should sit up straight and tall with your head held high, just like a princess.”

She straightened up remarkably.  I cheered her on and quietly noted her hands still had a white-knuckle grip on the saddle horn.   Again, this little girl was determined to be brave.

Emily didn’t want Robby to move.  The entire session we worked on taking one step… two… then four… and remember to sit like a princess!

“Hey Emily, I BET you can ride without holding onto the saddle horn.”

Her eyes widened in fear.

I barely heard her tiny voice.  “I don’t think I can do it,” she whispered.

“But I think you CAN.  And we don’t have to do much.”

“Okay…”

We started by taking one step with one hand resting on the pommel — right by the saddle horn in case she needed to grab it.  Robby wisely snuck in another step and made it two, gently building her frail confidence.  Before long, both hands were on the pommel… then one on her thigh… then both hands on her legs…

And step by step Emily and her horse stomped fear right out the door.

By the end, Robby walked freely. Emily closed her eyes and flung her arms out to both sides… as if she were flying.  Her face beamed a brilliant smile of freedom.

I couldn’t believe the transformation I just witnessed.  Nor could I believe the words the Holy Spirit poured out of my mouth:

“Emily, do you know what the Bible says?  It says we are God’s princesses and that through Jesus Christ He frees us and enables us to walk with heads held high.  Because of Jesus, we don’t have to be afraid of anything.  We can do everything… we can walk… run… and ride all with our heads held high because He gives us freedom.”

And at that moment, Emily laughed.

Not only had God used that little horse to stomp out fear and bring a smile, He had her ride forward into freedom that overflowed with joy and laughter.  Now isn’t Jesus like that?

Please pray for Emily and her family to know the ultimate freedom and joy of serving Jesus Christ.  And while you’re at it, maybe ask Jesus if there are areas that He’d like YOU to march toward freedom too.

 

Shouting Life

I had my first child fall off at the ranch.

She came off while working on a cantering lesson. The accident, while it could have been prevented, was one that wasn’t the horse’s or rider’s fault. It was MY fault.

I didn’t shout when I had the chance.

I saw Isaac, the horse, was rushing. I knew he needed to be asked to slow down and collected before trying again for a canter. My child didn’t recognize this and kept squeezing until he trotted faster and faster until she just bounced off.

My calm, easy-going self didn’t take the opportunity I had to holler and command her to slow down. I hate having to get loud… But that would have been the only way to have potentially stopped the crash. We had already talked about not allowing Isaac to rush and she had simply forgotten in the moment of adrenaline rush. If I had spoken up and risked sounding angry (which I wasn’t), I might have saved her some bruising.

Both horse and rider were champs. Isaac slowed down and stood quietly, she caught her breath and got back on and we continued our lesson in a more controlled frame.

For this post, I didn’t have a picture of a child falling off a horse, but I did have one of my sister playing too close to a cliff.  I thought my family and I goofing off is a humorous portrait of the power we have to help others.

Looking back, I realize I’m often afraid to speak up when it could make the most difference. I hesitate when I should be shouting. And more often than not, my voice has a power I neglect.

I’ve focused on Scripture saying the tongue has the power of… DEATH. I don’t want death and discouragement to come out of my mouth, so I try to be soft spoken. But God reminded me that I also have power to speak LIFE. And sometimes it’s not only appropriate, but necessary to yell that life out even if it sounds harsh.

Paul stood up and rebuked Peter in front of a group when he saw Peter displaying hypocrisy. Jesus called in a loud voice for Lazarus to come out of the tomb. And the Psalmist says many times to praise the Lord with a festal SHOUT.

I’m asking God to start showing me different areas He’s asking me to speak out and declare His glory. To be alert and call out gossip when I hear it. And to grow in courage to say hard things in love.

Who knows? It might save someone a disastrous crash. Or be the hard turning point to repentance and healing.

Am I willing to be used like THAT?

God, make me BRAVE.

 

NOTE: Scripture references — Proverbs 18:21; Galatians 2:14; John 11:43; Psalm 98:4

Brave

“Sometimes I feel like I want to be Brave.”

I stood in silence as I let the words sink in.  The girl sitting across from me in our Harvest Day class was painting the word “Brave” in large, bold letters across the wooden board in front of her.  I remembered just the day before I had been looking at what seemed to be a different child.

This same 10 year-old, who we’ll call “Hannah,” stood shyly off to the side as kids and leaders were being paired for sessions.  Her name was called and she came my way.  I noticed that she was very tall for her age and walked nervously and somewhat awkwardly as she followed me to start our session.  When I asked her what she wanted to do, she wrung her hands and responded, “I guess maybe… we could… ride a horse.”

“You guess maybe we could?” I countered.

“Oh, um, sorry.  Let’s ride a horse.”

At that moment, I had the oddest thought.  It was more like a deep knowing than a thought.  This girl needed to ride Phoebe.

Phoebe is one of our horses for a higher level rider.  She came as a filly from the most extreme rescue the ranch has ever been a part of… a backyard breeding program of over 300 starving, emaciated horses.  Breeding dogs were everywhere too, living in piles of junk, and starving to the point of attacking and trying to eat the horses.  The staff at the ranch lovingly  nourished Phoebe back to health and she is now a tall, strong horse.  Still, however, she sometimes struggles with fear and trust.  To be successful during a session, she needs a strong, confident leader.

And this girl was anything but confident.

Unsure of my decision, but feeling we should at least give it a try, we went to get Phoebe.  Hannah listened intently as I told her Phoebe’s story and her need of a confident rider.  I also told her that once someone earns Phoebe’s trust, she’s one of the most loyal horses I’d ever met.

While we groomed and saddled, I noticed that each time I taught Hannah something that was different than she’d been doing, she’d say, “Sorry.” I pointed that out to her and finally told her she didn’t need to say sorry anymore.  She wasn’t doing anything wrong and was just learning.  She accepted that and tried not to say it again.

Once in the arena, atop Phoebe’s back, I was amazed at the transformation I saw in Hannah.  She was quiet and confident for her horse.  We worked on a few exercises and it just happened that Hannah had great balance and was able to stay calm even when Phoebe wanted to rush and go faster.  She did great with her!

And as she rode, she started to talk.  And laugh.  And tell me stories.  She came to life and I was so honored to see and be a part of what God was doing in her heart.

The following day during our class, I was delighted that God gave me a sneak peak at the transformation He was continuing to do.

“Sometimes I want to be brave.”

I jolted back to the present.  “Hannah, you were brave yesterday with Phoebe.  You were SO brave!  It was incredible to watch you do so well with her.  It takes a pretty special person to be able to do what you did.  I love your sign.  Good job!”

She smiled and quietly went back to work.  At the end of the class, I looked again at her board.

Behind “Brave” was a painting of a horse silhouette running into the sunset.

 

 

Treasure Hunting

I’m learning to love junk.  And yard sales.  It’s so fulfilling to find an unwanted special something that’s peeling paint and falling apart, then lovingly restore it to beauty and purpose.

My friends and I routinely explore weekend yard sales and come home with all sorts of fun, seemingly useless furniture, old metal, and household items.  More than once we’ve made daring last minute rode maneuvers to follow directions to remote sales, hidden deep in suburbia or way out in the country.  We call it “treasure hunting.”

One particular day, while visiting Redding, California we had some free time.  It was the weekend, so OF COURSE we went yard saling (which is a bonafide redneck term).  We zoomed around the countryside, hit many sales, and met some amazing people.

And that’s where the true treasure hunting comes in.  I love that my friends and I see each yard sale as a potential opportunity to meet people and perhaps share the love of Jesus with them in some small way.  We fill up some of our car conversation with prayers that God would lead us to just the people He wants us to visit.

We stopped at a huge sale that day. Upon entering tables and piles of junk, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Buckets and buckets of ivory-covered wooden piano keys! After momentarily surveying my heavenly discovery in disbelief, I hurried to collect an octave of notes from “C” to “B.”  I had no idea what I’d DO with them, but in my mind this was definitely a treasure worth jumping on!

While I rummaged through buckets of old keys, one of our group went over to talk with the man and his friend hosting the sale.  A few minutes later she found the rest of us and announced, “We have an assignment.”

She explained she asked one of the men if we could pray over him.  He had been in a car accident years ago, leaving him with a neurological disorder that made him tremble and shake constantly. So we all went over to meet him. Upon seeing him, I noticed his legs were almost jumping in place and his hands shook so much the wristwatch he wore clanked loudly against the handle of his cane.  Trembling was a part of this man’s every moment.

Before we prayed, we got to know him a bit and asked if He knew Jesus.  His answer seemed a bit unsure, but he said he had been going to church and was going to get baptized later that afternoon.  My friend asked him if he wanted to be certain that Jesus was his Savior and Lord — and told him that TODAY could be the day that he remembers for sure that he chose to follow Jesus.

And he’s said YES, he wanted to be sure.

All huddled together around this quaking man, we listened as he spoke to Jesus… “Jesus, I thank you that today You are my Savior and my Lord.  And I thank you for bringing all of these wonderful people to celebrate my birthday with me in You.”

We then prayed over his body and for his healing.  He stood slowly as we were praying and he said, “You know what Jesus told me?  He said I need to exercise!”

We laughed and agreed that God works healing in all sorts of ways.  He repeated each of our names again and again and we embraced before we left.  The other man with him was a believer and had been taking the precious gentleman we prayed over to church.  He joined us in our prayer and we all departed praising God.

I chuckle now at myself to think how very intent I was at looking through grimy old piano keys when my friend had taken the time to look and notice a person.  A person who needed encouragement that day and the assurance of knowing his salvation was complete in Jesus.  And a meeting in a seemingly random time and place that was completely heavenly ordained.

That is true treasure hunting.  And something, if we are paying attention, we get to do every day as believers.  The harvest is PLENTY, but the workers are few.  What harvest field is God sending you to today?